It's been a long time since I have written something on this blog. Part of it is that I haven't made time and second I haven't found something worth writing about until today. Life has been busy. Busy with noise. Busy with news. Busy with schedules. Busy with complaints. Busy with problems. Busy with goodness. Busy with blessings. Busy isn't always bad and we sometimes oversee the good things in the busyness of it all.
I have to admit that through the busyness I have developed a friendship. You might know him too. He goes by the name, Anxiousness. Unfortunately, it's the type of friend that checks in with me on a daily basis, unannounced, uninvited, at work, at home, through joyous occasions and even more when I have a deadline to meet. But you know what? Today, I found out that anxiousness is not really my friend. He is the problem that I am having with my health, and confidence, and pretty much anything that can bring me good.
I was talking to friend (this is a real person now) today where I was venting about how how I'm having a hard time and questioning if I'm even at the right place(work, life, etc). The answer that my friend gave me was, "Find that Fire". In that moment that was exactly what I needed to hear. I didn't need to hear, "You're doing a good job" or "It's all going to be ok." I needed to hear something that would help me to be proactive in seeking something that I don't know that is missing.
The word fire has a deeper meaning to me. My close friends and family are probably smiling, rolling their eyes, and thinking...oh geez not again with the firefighter theory (still crossing my fingers lol :) But, really in this case fire means, keeping me alive. What is that one thing that you are excited to be alive for? That's the fire I need to find.
Be on fire for God. Be on fire for your family. Be on fire for finding something that is helping others. Be on fire for taking time to rest. Be on fire to exercise and to commit to health changes. Be on fire to stand up for what you believe in.
My struggle as a teacher is that I'm only on Fire when I'm on break, because during the week I'm too busy trying to entertain anxiousness, but today I realized I'm probably not on fire for anything that excites me. I'm on a journey to find that fire. It might mean taking a risk, or doing something that isn't me. It might mean doing something I have never done to gain something I have never had. I don't know what that is yet.
So blog followers, my question to you is, did you find your fire or are you still on that journey of finding that fire. There is no right or wrong and who knows maybe we are constantly finding new fires. The good news is they can be pretty to look at of course when they under control.
These are things I had to say.
#DreaSaidIt
P.S.: side note, but I have been listening to "Swagger" by Flogging Molly on repeat for the past 1hour and 1/2 and not until now do I notice that the only lyrics are "I don't know where I'm going". How fitting.
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