These are the things I had to say today <3
Monday, March 31, 2014
Not Engagement Pictures
Today's blog is going to be short and sweet and it's dedicated to my sister and her fiance. I was able to take some pictures of them and even though these aren't their engagement pictures, I'm excited to share some of my favorite shots of them. I love these two crazy kids and I am blessed to call them my family. Of course I have a whole speech about them, but I'll save that for their wedding day!
Monday, March 24, 2014
Ruined
Hi my blog followers! I hope this Monday treated you better than you were expecting. So, if you follow me on Instagram, then you probably already saw this quote: "Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation" (From the movie "Eat Pray Love"). I wanted to share what this quote really meant to me this past week.
Last week I saw a stranger that I seemed to know a lot about, but yet nothing at all. Maybe some of you can relate to that experience. I'm not talking stalker status here, but more on the lines of an old best friend, maybe? or someone your family knows pretty well, but you don't really know them, but you do? (Does that even make sense?) Even though words weren't exchanged and barely a glance, I had an old wound re-open. A wound that was never intended to be a wound in the first place, but some how it did. That's the thing with the decisions we make in our lives, sometimes we don't really see the effect it has us, even after time has passed. The one word I could really pick was ruined. I felt ruined inside, broken, destroyed. Mainly, because I thought I had come so far and yet I felt I hadn't.
Now, let me say that I'm so thankful for my sister-in-law, because first of all she is a great listener and second I can talk to her openly without judgment. I hope that you have someone like that in your life. First, she reminded me that we all grieve differently and in different times. I realized that I didn't even know I had grief still in me, but none the less, I did. More than anything I had to grieve that the life I had hoped for at 19, 20, 21, 22, and 23 is now forever gone, because it's impossible to go back in time. I can't be the age of 24 and say, "By 23 I hope to be well established." It is already gone. However, I can be 24 and continue to make new goals and new dreams, ones that weren't even in my head a couple years ago.
Second, I realized that there are things in my past that I don't want to forget, because those experiences made me who I am today and most importantly for me, It's OK not to forget. I think when I accepted my challenge of forgetting the past and future to live only in the present I was hoping that everything would be erased, especially every past pain and every non sense future hope. I am realizing if you forget the past, you are asking to forget the bad and the GOOD! I had to many good times that out weigh the bad times. And if you forget about the future, then you are living in a world without dreams, hopes, and goals. The best dreams to have are the ones that seem impossible, because when they do come true then it's even that much more amazing and probably rewarding! I know living in a world without dreams is impossible for me. I like to believe that my name carries the word "dream" in it. Andrea Moncayo turns into Drea M., which then turns into DREAM! I am a natural dreamer. The places I know I will get to go to, the things I will accomplish still, and the people I have yet to meet! I'm excited for it all.
Lastly, my sister-in-law reminded me that God loves us so much that His intent is never to hurt us. I can't count how many times I have been angry with or blamed God for many things. However, I realized that the battle that I have to face is, me. I have realized that God has given us commands, "Love God with all your heart and Love your neighbor as yourself" in order to protect us. Let me tell you, these commands are so simple, but yet I struggle with them ALL the time! Praise God though for His love for us. That despite our failures He loves us, doesn't give up on us, and continues to make "all things work together for our good."
So, even though I felt a little ruined last week, I am choosing to praise God for it and accepting it as a gift. Through my experience I have learned even more about myself. Oddly enough, I received a closure that I didn't even know I needed. Also, it was another experience that kept me going back to God. I do believe that when we are broken, ruined, or destroyed that it is God shaping us and transforming us into the person He has planned us to be and that is something I am thankful for, that I am not who I was and that there is hope for me to be even a better version of me! My new word is, renewed!
Hopefully next week I will have a fun adventure to tell!
Last week I saw a stranger that I seemed to know a lot about, but yet nothing at all. Maybe some of you can relate to that experience. I'm not talking stalker status here, but more on the lines of an old best friend, maybe? or someone your family knows pretty well, but you don't really know them, but you do? (Does that even make sense?) Even though words weren't exchanged and barely a glance, I had an old wound re-open. A wound that was never intended to be a wound in the first place, but some how it did. That's the thing with the decisions we make in our lives, sometimes we don't really see the effect it has us, even after time has passed. The one word I could really pick was ruined. I felt ruined inside, broken, destroyed. Mainly, because I thought I had come so far and yet I felt I hadn't.
Now, let me say that I'm so thankful for my sister-in-law, because first of all she is a great listener and second I can talk to her openly without judgment. I hope that you have someone like that in your life. First, she reminded me that we all grieve differently and in different times. I realized that I didn't even know I had grief still in me, but none the less, I did. More than anything I had to grieve that the life I had hoped for at 19, 20, 21, 22, and 23 is now forever gone, because it's impossible to go back in time. I can't be the age of 24 and say, "By 23 I hope to be well established." It is already gone. However, I can be 24 and continue to make new goals and new dreams, ones that weren't even in my head a couple years ago.
Second, I realized that there are things in my past that I don't want to forget, because those experiences made me who I am today and most importantly for me, It's OK not to forget. I think when I accepted my challenge of forgetting the past and future to live only in the present I was hoping that everything would be erased, especially every past pain and every non sense future hope. I am realizing if you forget the past, you are asking to forget the bad and the GOOD! I had to many good times that out weigh the bad times. And if you forget about the future, then you are living in a world without dreams, hopes, and goals. The best dreams to have are the ones that seem impossible, because when they do come true then it's even that much more amazing and probably rewarding! I know living in a world without dreams is impossible for me. I like to believe that my name carries the word "dream" in it. Andrea Moncayo turns into Drea M., which then turns into DREAM! I am a natural dreamer. The places I know I will get to go to, the things I will accomplish still, and the people I have yet to meet! I'm excited for it all.
Lastly, my sister-in-law reminded me that God loves us so much that His intent is never to hurt us. I can't count how many times I have been angry with or blamed God for many things. However, I realized that the battle that I have to face is, me. I have realized that God has given us commands, "Love God with all your heart and Love your neighbor as yourself" in order to protect us. Let me tell you, these commands are so simple, but yet I struggle with them ALL the time! Praise God though for His love for us. That despite our failures He loves us, doesn't give up on us, and continues to make "all things work together for our good."
So, even though I felt a little ruined last week, I am choosing to praise God for it and accepting it as a gift. Through my experience I have learned even more about myself. Oddly enough, I received a closure that I didn't even know I needed. Also, it was another experience that kept me going back to God. I do believe that when we are broken, ruined, or destroyed that it is God shaping us and transforming us into the person He has planned us to be and that is something I am thankful for, that I am not who I was and that there is hope for me to be even a better version of me! My new word is, renewed!
Hopefully next week I will have a fun adventure to tell!
Monday, March 17, 2014
"The Sweetness of Doing Nothing"
First I have to say, THANK YOU for the ones who read my first post and all the encouraging messages that went along with it! I already feel accountable to keep up, because of the feedback that I received! So, with that said, here it goes:
I would be lying to you if I said this has been an easy task (giving up thinking about the boys of the past and future), which in some ways it has and in many ways it hasn't. The way way it has been easy is that I am able to catch myself and take it back to God right away. The way it hasn't is there are just things out of my control that inevitably remind me of something that takes so much will power to stop. My sister-in-law, Sara, told me it is God really wanting me to talk to Him, because those things come up in order for me to go back to Him. The main question that I am asking myself, "Is it really possible to be in complete control your thoughts?" I think the answer yes, but I just haven't mastered it yet. I felt encouraged by my former professor last week and her advice was so simple, which she asked, "How can we turn those moments/thought into positives?" (Side note: Melissa is probably one of the best child development professors I was lucky to have during my time at Citrus College...take her class and you'll see what I'm talking about).
Anyways, I know I am on my way and every set back is a lesson to improve and to keep going! All that has happened is just part of the story that I like to believe I'm stuck right in the middle. I can't flip the pages back, because I already know what has happened and I can't go forward just yet, because I might miss an important detail in the present page that could be crucial to another part of the story.
A quote that I found on Pinterest that probably says it better than I can is, "Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens." (Carrie Bradshaw-Sex in the City).
Something else that I really want to share today is something that continues to inspire me in my journey, which comes from one of my favorite movies, "Eat Pray Love." The Italian saying, "Dolce far niente" translated- "The sweetness of doing nothing," which is something that I am purposefully trying to practice and I hope it is something you will feel inspired to practice too! Now, I am pretty sure this quote isn't used as an excuse to live out a lazy life, but rather to enjoy every moment especially the moments that don't seem to be anything special. Maybe it's about savoring the foods we love, loving the people we love to spend time with, laughing until it hurts, and maybe for some of us it is just having a moment of silence, while sipping a favorite hot/cold drink.
So, my sweetness of doing nothing includes soaking in every minute with my nephew, eating my mom's spaghetti (she only makes this when we have special company), playing the ukulele by the pool as I soak in the beautiful California sun, driving with the windows down, and having my fingers play the piano uncontrollably when the house is empty.
Some new things I have tried:
I want to hear from you too my fellow readers! What are your "Sweetness of doing nothing" activities, moments, your challenges, victories, tips, advice, etc.?
These are the things I had to say!
I would be lying to you if I said this has been an easy task (giving up thinking about the boys of the past and future), which in some ways it has and in many ways it hasn't. The way way it has been easy is that I am able to catch myself and take it back to God right away. The way it hasn't is there are just things out of my control that inevitably remind me of something that takes so much will power to stop. My sister-in-law, Sara, told me it is God really wanting me to talk to Him, because those things come up in order for me to go back to Him. The main question that I am asking myself, "Is it really possible to be in complete control your thoughts?" I think the answer yes, but I just haven't mastered it yet. I felt encouraged by my former professor last week and her advice was so simple, which she asked, "How can we turn those moments/thought into positives?" (Side note: Melissa is probably one of the best child development professors I was lucky to have during my time at Citrus College...take her class and you'll see what I'm talking about).
Anyways, I know I am on my way and every set back is a lesson to improve and to keep going! All that has happened is just part of the story that I like to believe I'm stuck right in the middle. I can't flip the pages back, because I already know what has happened and I can't go forward just yet, because I might miss an important detail in the present page that could be crucial to another part of the story.
A quote that I found on Pinterest that probably says it better than I can is, "Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens." (Carrie Bradshaw-Sex in the City).
Something else that I really want to share today is something that continues to inspire me in my journey, which comes from one of my favorite movies, "Eat Pray Love." The Italian saying, "Dolce far niente" translated- "The sweetness of doing nothing," which is something that I am purposefully trying to practice and I hope it is something you will feel inspired to practice too! Now, I am pretty sure this quote isn't used as an excuse to live out a lazy life, but rather to enjoy every moment especially the moments that don't seem to be anything special. Maybe it's about savoring the foods we love, loving the people we love to spend time with, laughing until it hurts, and maybe for some of us it is just having a moment of silence, while sipping a favorite hot/cold drink.
So, my sweetness of doing nothing includes soaking in every minute with my nephew, eating my mom's spaghetti (she only makes this when we have special company), playing the ukulele by the pool as I soak in the beautiful California sun, driving with the windows down, and having my fingers play the piano uncontrollably when the house is empty.
 |
| Mateo and me- Before going on a walk |
Some new things I have tried:
- Horchata Blend from Classic Coffee!
- I changed my usual Chipotle order by adding the hot sauce instead of mild and adding sour cream! (Why have I been missing out on sour cream this whole time?)
- Listening to the whole album Pioneer from The Band Perry in one sitting. (So fitting for this journey, right?)
I want to hear from you too my fellow readers! What are your "Sweetness of doing nothing" activities, moments, your challenges, victories, tips, advice, etc.?
These are the things I had to say!
Monday, March 10, 2014
What I Gave Up for Lent (1st Post)
They say when we write things down it is one way to keeps us accountable. Well, I'm giving myself that challenge, which is why I am writing this post. But, before I tell you what I have committed to for this Lent season, I think I need to give a very brief background story.
Dating. Where to even begin with this topic. I feel everyone has an opinion, statement, story, quote, plan of action, or thought about this. To simply state my story: I have dated ever since I could date. I think I have celebrated more anniversaries with different people, rather than celebrating an anniversary of being single!
This Lent season I have given up on thinking about the boys of the past and the boys of the future. And right now some of you may be thinking, "How do you even do that?" It seems like a task that is easy to fail in, because is it even possible to control our thoughts? Well, I don't have a list of rules for it, but it is pretty simple, at least in my head. Anytime I start to think about past relationships, especially thoughts that start with "I wish I Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda," I pray and ask God to take those thoughts away and replace it with good things and happy things. Or anytime I start to wonder and think what the right (future) person will be like or hope for him to be, then I also pray and ask God to take those thoughts away for now. The reason I don't want to think about a future man is mainly because I'm still working on my present self. These past four Sunday's the Young Adult Group that I have attended went through the book of "Song of Songs". It painted a beautiful picture of courting/dating and marriage that I realized that I do want to have some day. I will admit that I have had a problem in the past of painting a picture of what I wanted my boyfriends to be according to the world's standards, rather than accepting them for who God had made them to be.
So, How in the world am I going to control my thoughts in a culture that has music, movies, books, t.v. shows all about heartbreak or hoping for true love? Or in season where many of my friends and family, including my younger sister (CONGRATS GABY!) are planning weddings that they want me to be a part of? Well, so far one answer is, "God" and the other answer is "I don't know yet and hopefully by the end of these 40 days it will be answered." However, what I do know is I want to start living for today and not letting the past define me or the future control me.
I started this commitment March 5, 2014 and day 3 I was already tempted. I'm not going to get into to much detail about it, but I will say that life is ironic. However, now I am on Day 6! I know this is the journey that I need to be taking right now, which includes finding out my likes, dislikes, weaknesses, strengths, making new dreams, and producing new hopes. I want to start doing things that I normally wouldn't do and it doesn't have to be extreme. It could be as simple as listening to a new band or trying something new at a restaurant that I usually go to.
So something new I did this past week:
I bought my first grown up purse. Ya I know, I know...sounds stupid for the ones who don't really know me. However, for the people who do know me....this is a big deal! I'll have to post pictures or something so that you can really comprehend how big of a deal this is!
By the way, I'm not sure what my blog posts are going to be about yet, but stay tuned to find out! I'm thinking it could be anything from work stories (I work with Kinders, which means never a dull moment), travel plans (I love traveling!), or just really random things that I like to do, such as Pajama and Heels night (I'll have to explain this one day).
Well, these are things that I had to say.
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