Another week has come and gone and not only that, but January is already coming to an end! My last blog was about the motto I chose for this 2015 year, which is "Doing Something About It", which was why I decided I would try online dating, which only lasted 2 weeks, even though I thought it was going to be at least a 3 month experience (No refund...but it's OK, because I learned so much in this process that I have no regrets).
People asked me several times if I would ever considered online dating and my answer was an automatic, NO. It was a mixture of reasons on why not 1) Being judged 2) Not really feeling called to do it and 3) the fear of the unknown.
So why? Why did I sign up? I can't really pin point the exact thing on why or what finally triggered it for me...it was a combination of Boredom over Christmas break, watching too many online dating commercials pop over break, curiosity... and then I was asked by someone, "What are you doing about meeting people?"
Ok, so now the experience....where to even begin. I felt soooooo overwhelmed by it all. The first part is filling out everything about yourself. It really made reflect on "Is this truly me or is this what I think of me or is it a combination of both, or would others agree or am I lying to myself?" The next part was filling out about what I would want in my date and I wrote it down with no problem, because of course as I girl I know EXACTLY what I want...or so I thought.
Then came the messages and the awkward introductions or just the really forward guys that sometimes I didn't even know what to say. Dating now a days is just a tricky thing sometimes and online dating is no exception. It has it's pros and cons.
The Pros:
- In theory, everyone on there is single and isn't judging you because you guys are all kinda there for the same reason...the most common reasons 1) I work long hours and don't have time to meet people 2) I don't want to meet my future spouse at a bar or club 3) I just want someone to share my life with. (I'm only reporting my experience and not judging!)
- You don't have to talk to everyone that approaches you.
- But if you do, at least you are practicing talking again.
The Cons:
- You've got all kinds of people (like way older men in my case) trying to make some efforts.
- You can't really make a reference check...they are technically strangers.
- Inconsistency.
- Rejecting... it's hard no matter what.
- Cost money
Quickly I realized that this wasn't going to be for me, but the beauty of all of this is that God used this very awkward experience and turned it around for His glory, because this is what I got out of it:
1) I realized I am a VERY broken and sinful person, which brought me back to how much I need a Savior (Jesus) in my life. This is why I say this: I have been taught in my faith that we are not suppose to be judging others and to me that is EXACTLY what I felt I had to do during this. You are judging someone based off of their picture, words, likes/dislikes, height, occupation....and I struggled with that right away. I also realized with that how gracious and merciful God is to me!!! How much He loves me to call me back to Him despite of my stains and sins.
2) I saw myself putting myself on a pedal stool and making myself that I am better than people (Back to sin). I don't care if you judge me, but I'm being honest to myself right now. The best example I could give for this is I felt it would be really hard to date someone who didn't have a degree that is close to mine or better. Um....hello??? Do I even know their story or journey? Do I even realize how blessed I am?
3) I am going to have to put my full trust and faith in God alone. Not on a online dating website, not in family, friends, church, work, etc. God alone knows the story. I have no idea how I'm going to meet my future spouse (Lord willing), because the odds aren't really in my favor sitting at home most nights, but I believe that is what is going to make the story more miraculous!
4) I have a special place in my heart for the guys and girls that make the effort to put themselves out there, but are often over looked , but yet keep trying! I pray a special blessing for you guys, because it is so tough to be vulnerable sometimes, especially when rejection is an option! You guys are the ones that inspire me!
Online dating is something I would never judge anyone for trying and if anything I totally encourage people to sign up and try it for themselves! Don't judge until you have been there and I have totally heard of plenty of success stories!!! I would just encourage you to 1) Be completely grounded in who you are 2) Don't change your standards for any reasons 3) Pray about it 4) Have someone to keep you accountable- because it's really easy to get caught up in it.
I want to hear from you blog followers! I want to hear about your success stories, your online dating experiences (the good and bad), questions?! I'm more than happy to share. This was the quick version and I wish I could have explained my full experience better, because the truth is, for me, it goes back to God's love, grace, and mercy!
I hope to keep blogging, specifically about dating in this time in history or specifically in our culture and I would love for you to be a part of it! Look out for it in my next post!
These are the things I had to say.
Drea Said It
